


Dairy Free

by TheLittleRedWhoCouldWrite



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Dean, Bottom Sam, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Oral Sex, Top Cas, food allergies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 07:19:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12206487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittleRedWhoCouldWrite/pseuds/TheLittleRedWhoCouldWrite
Summary: When Sam develops a dairy allergy, his whole world is turned upside down. Luckily he has two fantastic boyfriends to support him.





	Dairy Free

**Author's Note:**

> Art by: JValentyne
> 
> Betaed by: @manawhaat

Sam's not sure when the symptoms started.He's not sure what causes them, either, but it seems to be everything except fresh fruits and vegetables or plain meats. Anything else results in him being violently ill. It started as a stomach ache, but developed over time to vomiting and, now, hives.

“I think you're having an allergic reaction,” Cas says one day as he helps rub aloe on Sam’s skin to alleviate the itching.

“What would I be allergic to?” Sam grumbles. “I've never reacted to anything in my life.”

Dean is messing with something on his phone, but speaks up. “This says here that developing allergies later in life is becoming more common.” Apparently he's doing research. “We should take you to an allergist and find out what you're allergic to. I think we have some benadryl in the first aid kit. Wanna take some?”

“No, I would rather suffer,” Sam says, voice dripping sarcasm.

Dean rolls his eyes and leave to get the medication. Cas finishes rubbing aloe onto Sam's back. He smacks the hunter’s hand away when Sam starts to absently scratch at his arm.

“Let the aloe work,” he says, capping the bottle and setting it aside.

“I don't want to be allergic to anything,” Sam says quietly.

“I know. If I had my grace, I could fix this.” Cas brushes a soft hand over Sam's forehead, frowning. “But Dean and I will help you figure this out.”

“Thanks, Cas.”

He sits quietly while Cas puts the aloe away. Dean returns a few minutes later with the box of benadryl and a glass of water. Sam gratefully takes the pills after Cas pops them free of their packaging. They're small and pink, and under normal circumstances Dean would make a joke, but he can probably tell how uncomfortable Sam is right now.

“I'm gonna see if I can find an allergist nearby that we can take you to,” Dean says when Sam sets down the now empty glass. “We're going to want to get this figured out as soon as possible. In the meantime, just… don't eat.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “I'll just eat plain fruits and vegetables. Those seem to be safe.”

“You're going to starve.” Cas’s voice is full of concern as he chimes in.

“I'll be fine for a few days,” Sam assures him. “Besides, I'm sure I'll have more options than just fruit and vegetables.”

“I'm gonna set up an appointment with an allergist. You,” Dean points at Sam, “drink more water and take it easy until that benadryl kicks in.”

“Okay,” the younger Winchester says, laying back on the bed. His stomach is still aching. The other men move to leave the room, but Sam calls after them. “Cas?”

“Yes, Sam?”

“Will you stay with me?”

The ex-angel smiles fondly. “Of course.”

Cas sits by Sam, tugging at him until Sam’s head is pillowed on his thigh. He gently strokes the young man’s long hair and Sam lays a tentative hand on the leg under his cheek. Cas is warm and smells like honey and lightning and safety. He's not sure what exactly  _safety_ smells like, but Dean smells like it, too, and “safety” is the only word Sam can think of to describe it.

“I'm going to get you more water,” Cas says after a little while.

Sam reluctantly let's him up and drinks the water when Cas hands the full glass to him.

“Is there anything else else I can.do to help you?” Cas asks, one hand resting on Sam's bare shoulder.

Sam shakes his head and drinks more. The cool liquid helps to sooth the hot ache in his belly. There are very few things Sam hates mores than being sick.

The benadryl finally takes effect about twenty minutes later. By that point, Dean has an appointment set up with an allergist a few towns over for the next day.

Sam is hungry when he goes to bed that night. He can't remember ever going to bed hungry before. Dean had made sure of it when they were kids, but it sent a pang of hurt through his heart tonight knowing that he couldn’t stop it from happening now.

* * *

 

“Please wait here,” the nurse says, opening the door of an examination room. “Dr. Ridley will be with you shortly.”

She closes the door behind the trio. Sam sits on the exam table. Cas stands by him and holds his hand. Dean immediately starts pacing. They only wait a few minutes before Sam gets annoyed.

“Dean, stop, you're stressing me out,” he says, leaning against Cas.

Dean huffs and sits down in one of the too-small chairs. His knee immediately starts bouncing. Sam rolls his eyes, but doesn't comment. He's feeling nervous and out of place. He would really like to be able to curl up in Dean’s arms, but they try to keep that aspect of their relationship private. It's easier just to stick to the roles of brothers in public.

The door opens to let in a middle-aged man Sam feels safe assuming is the doctor. He has a friendly smile and a clipboard.

“I'm Dr. Ridley,” he says cheerfully, moving to shake everyone's hands. “Which of you is Sam?”

“That's me,” Sam says. “This is my boyfriend, Cas, and my brother, Dean”

Dr. Ridley nods. “Now, you're having allergic reactions? Can you describe the symptoms to me?”

“It was just stomach aches and nausea at first,” Sam tells him. “But last week I started breaking out in hives as well.”

“Yeah, that sounds like an allergic reaction to me. We can do some blood tests to identify the exact allergen. It'll take a few days for the results to get back, but it's more effective than other tests.”

Blood tests. Sam would prefer another method, but “more effective” sounds best.

“Okay. Let's do the blood test,” he says, feeling the way Cas tightens his hold on Sam's hand.

“Alright. I'll have a nurse come do the blood draw and give you the necessary paperwork, and I'll see you in a few days to go over your results.”

Sam smiles tightly at the doctor. He fills out the paperwork the nurse brings, and then reluctantly rolls up his sleeve. He doesn't have a problem with blood or needles- he wouldn't have lasted long in this profession if he did- but there's something about watching the blood leave his body in this way that makes his stomach twist. Something about vampires breaking him open to bleed out into buckets, mixed with hazy hell memories of cold and screaming. He keeps his eyes locked on Dean's and his hand curled around Cas’, drawing in deep breaths until the nurse is finished. She has him hold the cotton ball while she gets the gauze to wrap it.

“There you go,” she says brightly. “Another nurse will show you out. You'll get a call in a few days when we get the results.”

“Got it,” Sam says stiffly, forcing another smile.

Sam practically drags Dean and Cas from the office and as soon as he's safe inside the Impala, he reaches across the front seat to grab Dean's hand.

“Was it that bad?” the older Winchester asks, eyeing the free hand Sam is rubbing against his thigh.

Sam nods, breathing deeply to gather himself. Dean's hand and the pressure against his palm certainly help to ground him further.

* * *

 

Dean finds a case the next day. It's not far, so Sam feels safe about taking it while waiting for a call from the allergist. They load up the Impala and head out.

Judging by the MO and time of the month, they’re looking at a werewolf. Sam is already delving into the lives of the victims. If they don't find the werewolf tonight, they'll have to wait a whole month for another chance.

“Any connections?” Dean asks, one arm hanging lazily out the open window. He's stunning like this, completely at ease in the driver's seat. Sam has to physically tear his eyes away.

“Uh, yeah. Both were part of a group of kids who were charged with sexually assaulting a teenage girl last year. They got off with community service.”

“Wait,  _what?_ ”

“Yeah, I know. One of the kids is the son of the sheriff and it's a small town. I guess this girl and her mother had just moved in, so they had less people on their side.”

“Could the girl be our werewolf?” Cas inquires, leaning forward to peek at the laptop over Sam's shoulder.

“Um… no. She committed suicide three months ago.” His voice is filled with hurt as he says it out loud, the three of them all fuming inside at the injustice of it all.

“Any siblings? Parents?”

“Dad's dead, mom's in the hospital with breast cancer. She was an only child.”

“That poor mother,” Cas says softly.

Sam nods, scrolling further onto the article. “There's some interviews with a few students the girl was close to. It could be one of them.”

“Is it possible we're looking at this wrong and this is actually a ghost?”

Sam glances up to meet Cas’ eyes in the rear view mirror. “It's possible. Someone could have disturbed the grave or something could have happened to trigger her anger. Good thinking, Cas. We'll have to work both angles.”

Cas looks proud of himself. The expression makes Sam feel warm inside. Cas has come a long way since he first started hunting with the brothers.

They get to the town a little before noon. Dean finds a motel and checks in. Sam makes a face at the wallpaper when they enter the room, but other than the decor it doesn't seem too bad.

“I'm hungry,” Dean announces, tossing his duffel on the end of the closest bed.

“I could eat,” Cas pipes up.

“I'm good,” Sam says. “You guys go on. I'm gonna do some more research.”

In truth, Sam is starving and wants nothing more than to go out with his lovers, but he's wary. He doesn't know what foods to avoid yet and doesn't want to risk a reaction in the middle of a case.

“Want us to bring you back anything?” Dean asks, jangling the keys.

“Nah, I'll be fine. I'll hit a grocery store later and get some things.”

“Well, if you insist.”

Dean ruffles Sam's hair and leaves. Cas pauses to tug Sam down into a slow kiss. His arm is tight around the taller man's narrow waist.

“If you need something, call me,” the former angel tells him.

“I will, Cas. Promise. You better go before Dean gets impatient.”

He hears the roar of the Impala’s engine outside and ushers Cas out the door. Once they're gone, he busies himself with research to distract his mind from his rumbling stomach.

Dean and Cas return about two hours later. Sam has made some progress on the case, narrowing the suspect list down to two of the friends mentioned in the articles.

“Hiya, Sammy,” Dean says brightly, setting a couple grocery bags on the table and dropping a kiss on top of Sam’s head.

“Dean, what's all this?” Sam asks, pulling one of the bags closer. “I said I would go.”

“Yeah, well, we were already out. I mentioned your predicament to the waitress and she recommended a grocery store on the edge of town. Her sister has allergies and this store has stuff that's safe for anyone allergic to the eight most common allergens. I figured it couldn't hurt to check it out.”

“I tried one of the granola bars in the car,” Cas adds. “They're very good, if a little expensive.”

The sacks contains eggs, cooking spray, a variety of fruits and vegetables, and a few different products by a company called  _Enjoy Life_ \- cookies, granola bars, etc. Much more food than Sam needs for one or two days.

“Whatever you don't eat we can put in the cooler and take home,” Dean assures him. “But I know you, Sam, and I know you'd rather starve than inconvenience us. I'm not letting you starve.”

“Thanks, Dean,” Sam says quietly, fighting back an unexpected wave of emotion.

“Eat some food. The last thing we need is you passing out tonight.”

Sam chuckles and takes the bags to the kitchenette- Dean probably picked this motel for this exact reason. He whips up some pan-seared veggies, topping it off with a hardboiled egg for a little protein. A solid meal puts him in a much better mood.

“I grabbed a map of the town while we were out,” Cas says while Sam washes his dishes. “We may be able to triangulate the attacks.”

“It would be a lot more effective if we had at least one more body, sadly,” Dean tells Cas helping him spread the map out on the table. “But it's a start. What did you get while we were out, Sam?”

“I did some more digging and two students in particular were close to Amanda- Joey Stone and Debbie Brown. Joey in particular seems to have been very close. It's possible he and Amanda were dating.”

“Sounds like a good place to start. Let's stake out both their houses and the house of the last kid from the group.”

Sam nods, drying his hands and joining them by the table. “Well, the first body was found here.” He circles the spot. “The second one was here. This is Debbie’s house and this” one last circle “is Joey’s.”

“Joey lives much closer to the crime scenes than Debbie,” Cas observes.

“But we can’t rule her out.” Dean reminds him. “Werewolves can travel when they need to. Sam, you watch Joey. Cas, you watch Debbie. I’ll keep an eye on the kid.”

“Sounds good to me,” Sam replies. “We have a couple hours until the sun goes down.”

“We should probably double check all the guns. Come help me, Cas.”

Sam settles on the far bed, popping open his laptop so he can do some more digging into Joey and Debbie. Social media isn’t good for much, in his opinion, but it’s great for gaining a better insight into the people he has to research. Dean and Cas spread the guns out on the other bed. Sam glances up periodically to watch Dean teach Cas how to take apart, clean, and reassemble each weapon. The former angel is a fast learned and can do most of it on his own now, but occasionally he “forgets” something just so Dean will cover Cas’ hands with his own and guide him through it. Sam is pretty sure Dean knows what’s up, too.

Cas has good instincts.

The hunt turns out to be the ghost of the girl, triggered into vengeance by the boys finishing their community service. Apparently, the bodies were missing their genitals as well, which every article had failed to mention and they would have known if they’d had time to go to the morgue. Dean was able to keep the kid safe long enough for Sam and Cas to burn the bones.

“Shoulda let her kill the punk,” Dean grumbles when they’re all back at the motel room. “Hell, almost did. He told me she was ‘asking for it’ and they didn’t do anything wrong. I gave him a lecture on consent and told him if he doesn’t change his attitude, I’d come back and kill him myself.”

“Is that all,” Cas asks knowingly.

Looking between Cas and his brother, Dean shrugs to hide a small smirk. “The kid had to be taught a lesson, right?”

* * *

 

Sam smiles, shoving his dirty clothes into a bag so they don’t ruin his clean ones. “Good. Join us in the shower?”

Dean shakes his head. “Nah, you and Cas go have fun. I’m gonna ice the lecture hand.” Dean’s knuckles are swollen and red and the three of them smile a little knowing that the kid would never violate or mistreat anyone again.

“Suit yourself.”

Cas is already waiting in the bathroom, standing naked on the rug while he tests the water with one hand. Sam leaves the door open, an invitation to Dean if he decides to join them. It’s gonna be a tight fit with two grown men, so Sam won’t mind if Dean waits. He’s too busy eyeing Cas as the ex-angel steps into the shower.

He strips quickly so he can under the water, get his hands on Cas’ sharp hips and fit himself against the smaller man’s back. Cas has been working out with Sam and it shows- he always had the lean runner’s build of Jimmy Novak before he lost his grace, but now he has to work for it. He looks great and Sam loves the extra time with his lover.

“Did good today, Cas,” Sam murmurs in the man’s ear. “You had a hunch and you were right. That’s good. I’m proud of you.”

Cas is blushing softly, hands sliding down his own body to cover Sam’s. “Thank you, Sam.”

Sam’s hands drift lower, bumping against the base of Cas’ growing erection. He presses soft kisses to the back of Cas’ neck and shoulders, teasing his fingertips through Cas’ pubic hair until the man is making pleading noises and arching into Sam’s touch.

There’s a soft knock on the wall outside the shower just before Dean pokes his head in. “Can I join?” he says, grinning when he notices what the two men are up to.

“Of course,” Sam replies, backing Cas up a little to give Dean room.

“Don’t tease him, Sammy,” Dean purrs, already dropping to his knees. He braces his hands on Cas’ thighs and smirks up at them both. “Want some help, Cas?”

“Dean,” Cas groans, shifting his hips forward invitingly.

Dean chuckles, already moving in. Sam wraps his hand around the base, holding Cas’ erection steady so Dean can suck the head into his mouth. Cas moans, head falling back against Sam’s shoulder. His hands grab at Sam’s wrist and Dean’s hair, desperate for something to hold him steady. It’s been awhile since he last came, Sam knows, and a hunt always puts him even closer to the edge. Sure enough, it’s not long before he’s spilling all over his lovers’ combined hands.

“Fuck,” he gasps, turning his head to catch Sam’s lips with his own. He pulls back after a moment only to tug Dean to his feet and into another kiss. Both Winchesters are hard now, cocks pressed against his hips. “My turn,” Cas says with a grin.

* * *

 

The call comes two days late. Sam is in the library, deeply engrossed in the journal of a hunter from almost a century before, and he startles when his phone rings. Dean is sitting across the table, foot casually tucked between Sam’s, and he chuckles softly. Sam glares and answers the phone.

“Mr. Smith, this is Anna from Dr. Ridley’s office. I’m calling to inform you that the result of your blood tests are back and Dr. Ridley would like to have you come in to discuss the results. I have an opening at twelve thirty pm tomorrow. Does that work for you?”

“That… that works fine.”

“Alright! Do you have any questions for me?”

“No, I’m good, thank you.”

“Okay. We’ll see you tomorrow, then!”

Sam ends the conversations and hangs up. Dean is watching him with a questioning look.

“My blood test results are in. I have to go in tomorrow to talk about them. Are you and Cas coming with me?” It’s a little ridiculous that he, a grown man, doesn’t want to go to the doctor alone, but this is something that will affect them, too.

“Of course,” Dean assures him.

“Thanks, Dean.”

They meet in Dr. Ridley’s office this time. Sam is nervous, more nervous than he was for the original exam.

“Alright, so your blood tests came back positive for a casein allergy,” Dr. Ridley tells them, flipping through a file. “Are you familiar with casein?”

Sam shakes his head.

“I figured. Casein is the protein in milk, one of the base components of whey. Casein can be found in a lot of foods, but can be easy to avoid if you know what to look for. Benadryl seems to be working to relieve symptoms so far, but let me know if it changes and I’ll prescribe something else. Any questions so far?”

“No,” Sam shakes his head.

“Great.” He slides a business car across his desk. “This is contact info for a dietician named Dr. Morris, who specializes in allergies and will be able to help you with this transition.”

Sam takes the card. “Thank you.”

He’s quiet as they leave the office, lost in his own thoughts. Dean and Cas leave him be. They seem to sense that he needs some space.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says when they’re about halfway home.

“What for?” Cas asks.

“This is just a big hassle and you shouldn’t have to worry about it.”

“Sam, it’s our job to take care of each other,” Dean tells him. “You didn’t ask for this. You have nothing to be sorry about. Got it?”

“Yeah, I got it.”

“Good.”

Even with Dr. Morris’ assistance, adjusting to a new diet is difficult. Sam doesn’t feel like he has many options. The change is so sudden, so unexpected, and it’s thrown him off balance. He’s always kept a tight hold over his own body and everything he’s used to just got thrown out the window.

Sam knows Dean and Cas are worried. He’s lost weight since developing his allergy and he rarely goes out with them. It’s too risky to eat out now. He hasn’t gone to a whole foods store yet, so he doesn’t have any of the substitutes Dr. Morris recommended. Dean did pick up an almond butter that’s not bad and some almond milk, but that’s all they’ve found so far.

One morning Sam is greeted by the smell of bacon upon entering the kitchen. Dean is standing at the stove in his boxers and robe, pulling bacon out of a pan and putting it on a folded paper towel.

“Morning, Sammy,” he says cheerfully. “Hungry?”

“Sam nods, watching in confusion as Dean scraped scrambled eggs from a second pan to a plate.

“I looked up how to make scrambled eggs,” Dean explains when Sam gives him a questioning look. “You like them with mostly eggs whites, right? I put in some peppers and onions, too. Cas said you really liked that when you got it at a diner a while back.”

“He remembered that?” Sam chuckles, sitting at the table. Dean sets the plate in front of him.

“Of course he did. This is Cas we’re talking about.”

Sam laughs softly. “Good point.”

“Something smells good,” Cas says as he wanders into the kitchen. His hair is still damp from his shower.

“Morning, sunshine,” Dean replies, tugging him in for a quick kiss. “There’s eggs and bacon. You hungry?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions.” Cas leans down to kiss Sam. “Eat up. Dean made those special. He searched forever for a cooking spray that’s safe. People put milk in the strangest things.”

“Yeah, they do,” Dean agrees, returning to the table with two more plates. “I found out our regular lunch meat has milk and I have yet to find a safe bread that’s not also gluten free.” He takes the seat across from Sam.

“Maybe we could make something,” Cas suggests, taking the third chair. “There has to be a safe recipe out there, or at least something we can modify to make it safe. Right? The internet is full of useful information.”

“Guys, you don’t have to do that,” Sam says before Dean can respond. “I’m fine.”

Dean gives him the patent “You’re joking, right?” face. “You’re not fine, Samuel-”

“It’s Sam.”

“-and as your boyfriends, it’s our responsibility to take care of you when you can’t do it yourself.”

“I’m not a baby, Dean. I’m thirty-four.”

“Are you sure?” Dean teases, nudging Sam’s ankle under the table.

Sam glares.

“Seriously, though,” Dean continues. “We’re not blind, Sam. You’re going through a difficult change. It’s our job to be here for you, in whatever way we can. You’re not doing so well lately. Cas says you’ve lost weight.”

“Not that much,” Sam mutters, staring down at his plate to avoid the intense gazes of the other men.

“Fifteen pounds,” Cas informs Dean.

“Okay, so maybe I’ve lost some weight,” the younger Winchester sighs, turning his glare on Cas. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You haven’t lost weight since the trials,” Dean points out. “You’ve always been meticulous about that stuff, which is why we’re worried about you. Please,” he reaches across the table to take Sam’s hand, green eyes meeting hazel. “Let us help you.”

Sam looks between his two lovers, biting the inside of his lip. Dean’s expressions is tense and pleading. Cas just looks sad.

“Okay,” he finally says. “But it’s my body. I have final say.”

“Of course,” Cas says, a small smile curling the corners of his mouth. “We would never dream of taking your control from you like that.”

Sam chuckles bitterly. “Yeah, right.”

Dean looks like Sam just stabbed him in the heart. Cas lowers his gaze, blue eyes flitting nervously to Dean. In all honesty, Cas is innocent. He didn’t have any say in the things Dean has done and he shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for Dean’s crimes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean asks harshly, pulling back.

Sam shakes his head, turning his focus to his food. “Never mind, forget I said anything.”

“No, this is clearly something that’s been weighing on your mind,” Cas says, reaching over to cover Sam’s hand with his own. “Talk to us, Sam.”

He doesn’t want to, but he knows he needs to. Now that’s he brought it up, Dean’s not going to let it go. “It’s just… I don’t have a very good history of control over my own body. First the demon blood when I was a baby. I didn’t ask for that.” He’s really been thinking this through lately and that’s definitely where this all began. “It’s just been worse since then. Meg possessed me, and then Lucifer. I lost my soul-”

“That wasn’t your fault, Sam, that was mine,” Cas interrupts.

“It was an accident, I know,” Sam tells him. “But returning my soul to my body wasn’t. I know it wasn’t really me, but soulless said no and it was forced into him anyways. Then that mess with Gadreel. It’s just… food is the one thing I’ve always have control over.

“What do you mean, the mess with Gadreel?” Dean says. He actually looks genuinely confused.

Sam gives him a “really?” look. “Dean, you tricked me into being possessed by an angel.”

“To save your life!”

“You completely disregarded my ability to choose what I wanted for my own life. Maybe you could have done something like that when I was younger, but- no, never mind, scratch that. You couldn’t have. It’s my life. If anyone gets a say over that, it’s me, but I have continuously had my ability to choose for myself taken away. So having the one area I can control messed with? It’s really hard. I need to learn how to handle this on my own.”

Silence falls. Dean looks stunned. It’s clear he never thought of his choices or Sam’s experience in that context.

“I… I’m so sorry, Sam,” he finally says, voice soft. “I didn’t realize you felt that way. I never meant to make you feel like that. I get it, now.”

“Thank you for sharing that with us,” Cas says, gently squeezing Sam’s hands. “I know that must have been very difficult for you. Thank you for trusting us. You should always have final say in matters concerning your own life. We’re offering our assistance in dealing with this change in your life because we love you and we’re worried. Will you accept it?”

Sam nods. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off his chest. He needed to get that out there. He looks to Dean.

“You get final say,” Dean reiterates. “I’m so sorry, Sammy.”

Sam rubs his foot against Dean’s ankle. “Apology accepted.”

He sees the tension leave Dean’s body and a slow smile spreads across his brother’s face.

“Eat your eggs,” Dean says. “They’re no good cold.”

“Yes,  _Dad_.”

* * *

 

The first change Dean implements is a regular breakfast. He gets up while Sam is out running and gets breakfast started so it’s ready when Sam gets out of the shower. He usually makes something with eggs, because they all enjoy those and they’re good protein. Dean has also gotten good at pancakes and he wants a waffle iron.

Cas helps Sam scour the ingredients lists of every brand and type of bread their closest grocery store sells until they find a brand that is safe for Sam to eat. Cas has done a lot of research on what ingredients to look for. With every product they buy, he reads the ingredients carefully. They have to switch brands for almost everything. Sam hates making Cas go through all that trouble, but Cas just brushes him off. He insists that he doesn’t mind.

There are several foods Sam misses. He’s not the biggest eater of cheeseburgers, but he’s been craving those lately. He’s also been craving a variety of other cheese-based foods- lasagna, grilled cheese, ice cream, the list goes on. Cas finds dairy-free chocolate chips, but they’re not the same as a bowl of ice cream.

“Maybe we can make ice cream?” Dean suggests when Sam brings it up.

Cas shakes his head. “I’ve looked into that. There aren’t any safe substitutes for many of the ingredients required to make ice cream, as far as I’ve been able to find.”

Dean frowns. “Well, there has to be some sort of substitute. Dairy is one of the most common allergens. There’s no way no one’s made a dairy free option.”

“I’ll poke around next time we go grocery shopping,” Cas promises Sam. “And if our store doesn’t have anything, a specialty store might.”

“In the meantime…” Dean says slowly, sliding his arms around Sam’s waist from behind. “I have a surprise for you in the kitchen.”

“Mmm, what kind of surprise?”

“The food kind.” Which, in Dean’s opinion, is the best kind- right up there with the sexy kind. “C’mon.”

Dean puts his hand in Sam’s and leads him to the kitchen. His nose is immediately assaulted by the familiar scent of chocolate chip cookies. A plate with a dozen or so sits on the table. There’s more cooling on the counter and a bowl of dough is by the stove.

“Where’d you get these?” Sam asks, staring at the cookies.

“I made them,” Dean tells him. “I used the almond butter and those chocolate chips Cas found. It took a while to find a recipe, but these cookies are one hundred percent safe for you to eat.”

“Dean…” Sam whirls and kisses his lover firmly. “I love you. And Cas…” he pulls the ex-angel in for a kiss as well. “I love you.”

“We love you, too, Sam,” Cas says quietly. “How about I pop in a movie and we can enjoy these cookies while we watch. Sound good?”

“I like that plan,” Dean agrees. “I’m thinking Avengers. Sam?”

“Avengers works for me!” Sam’s already got a cookie in hand, hardly paying attention when Cas leaves the room. He holds it under his nose and breathes in the smell, letting his eyes fall shut. When he takes the first bite, he chews slowly, lets the flavors settle across his tongue. He can’t remember the last time he had cookies- he didn’t eat them a lot before his allergy, and now…

“Good?” Dean asks, leaning against the kitchen table.

“Amazing,” Sam sighs. “Seriously, Dean. They’re gooey and warm and perfect.”

Dean is grinning. “Good. I was hoping that would cheer you up a little. Let’s go find Cas. Do you want some almond milk to go with your cookies?”

Sam snatches another cookie as Dean picks up the plate, shaking his head. “No, but I’ll probably get some water later.”

“Alright. I’ll come back for some milk. Cas will probably want some, too.”

Speaking of, Cas is sitting up against the headboard of their shared bed, legs tucked under the blankets. The TV is displaying the menu for the Avengers. Cas smiles and pats the bed next to him.

“Sit by me, Sam,” he says.

As Sam joins Cas on the bed, Dean sets the plate of cookies on the nightstand. “Want some milk, Cas?” he asks.

“No, thank you, Dean,” Cas replies.

“Can you grab me some water?” Sam inquires, leaning against Cas.

“Sure thing. You guys can hit play. I’ll be back in a few.”

Sam settles in, tipping his head to rest on top of Cas’. The smaller man pushes play on the remote. Dean returns soon, just as Sam starts on his fourth cookie. He slides into bed on the other side of Sam.

“Slow down, sweetheart,” he says, easily blocking Sam reaching for a fifth cookie. “You’re gonna make yourself sick. They’ll still be there later and I have dough in the fridge, so I can make more than you run out. Drink your water.”

Sam pouts, but takes a sip of his water.

About halfway through the movie, Sam’s eyelids start to droop. Cas notices and guides Sam down to pillow his head on the dark-haired man’s lap. He feels Dean’s hand in his hair. Between that and the solid warmth of Cas’ thigh beneath his cheek, Sam quickly drifts off.

After his success with the cookies, Dean’s confidence in his culinary skills increases. He still makes breakfast, but now he’s experimenting with other meals as well. It’s surprisingly easy, apparently, to modify a lot of recipes if you’re willing to get creative.

The first time Sam eats out on a hunt almost puts him off eating out all-together and spurs a surge of research by his boyfriends. He explains his allergy to the waitress and she seems to understand. She points out options on the menu, asks questions to verify things, and double checks his order. She promises to put a note for the cook as well. Sam’s feeling pretty confident by the time he brings his food out.

Sam gets most of the way into his salad before he feels it. it starts in his throat, an all-too-familiar tight itchiness. The nausea comes not long after and he finds himself rushing to the bathroom. Cas follows and holds his hair back for him, telling him in hushed tones that Dean has gone to get the Benadryl from the car.

When Dean arrives with the pills, Sam is rinsing his mouth out in the sink while Cas looks on with a concerned expression. He already feels better, but takes the pills anyways.

“How do you feel?” Cas asks, stepping in to place a gentle hand in the small of Sam’s back.

“Better,” Sam tells him.

“I told the waitress what happened: Dean says, “She feels awful, but I don’t think it was her fault. Whoever made your salad messed up.”

“I figured as much. She was very thorough when we were ordering. You guys should finish your meals. I’ll just eat when we get back to the motel.”

“No, the waitress is having them remake your salad under her watch. You don’t have to starve.”

Sam’s not sure if he’s comfortable eating at this restaurant any more. “That’s nice of her, but I would feel better just eating at the motel. I won’t starve, I promise.”

Dean looks like he wants to argue, but he seems to remember the promise he made when they first started this journey and nods. “Alright. I’ll let her know.”

Dean leaves the bathroom. Sam rinses his mouth out again and leans against the sink with a sigh. He meets Cas’ blue eyes in the mirror and forces a smile.

“Do you feel ready to go back out there?” Cas asks, hands settling on Sam’s hips.

Sam turns to face his lover and leans down to press his nose into the crook of his shoulder. They stand there for a few minutes. Cas lets Sam lean on him, bringing his hands up to stroke gently up and down Sam’s spine.

“Okay,” Sam says finally, straightening. “I think I’m okay now.”

The waitress rushes over the moment Sam sits down, a long string of apologies falling from her lips. Sam kindly assures her that he’s fine, he’s not upset, and it’s not her fault. she clearly still feels bad, but is reassured by his words. She promises they won’t be charged for the salad.

Dean and Cas eat quickly, unwilling to let Sam sit there watching them for much longer than he has to. Sam doesn’t mind, but he appreciates their concern. It’s nice to know they care so much.

When they get back to the motel room, Sam heats up some of the leftovers he packed and Cas gets on his laptop to, in his words, “do some digging.” Occasionally he calls Dean over to look at something he’s found. Sam wants to ask what they’re doing but decides to wait until they’re ready to tell him.

* * *

 

Sam doesn’t find out what Cas was up to until their next hunt. He wasn’t planning on going out, but Cas asks Sam to trust him. He’s shocked when they walk into an unfamiliar restaurant and Cas asks for the allergy menu. The waiter brings out a binder that breaks down each item on the menu into it’s allergens.

“Are you sure this is safe?” Sam asks, flipping through the laminated pages.

“According to a large number of first-hand accounts, establishments that offer an allergen menu are safer to eat at,” Cas explains. “If you’re not comfortable, we don’t need to stay. We can find a grocery store and cook something in the motel room.”

Sam considers his options. He wants to be able to eat out and while he knows he’ll always have to be cautious, he doesn’t want to be scared.

“Let’s give it a try,” he decides.

Dean grins. “I’ve got Benadryl in my wallet, but I have a good feeling about this place. They’ve got a good rep.”

Sam smiles, eyes flicking up to his brother. The allergen menu is thorough, marked with which items contain an allergen. The ones that can be modified have a note under them listing which ingredients need to be removed. Sam settles on a grilled chicken sandwich, minus the provolone cheese. The waiter explains that once he pushes the “allergy” button when putting in the order, his meal will follow a completely different path through the kitchen in order to prevent mistakes and cross contamination. Sam feels much better hearing that. He even munches on some of the chips Dean orders as an appetizer.

When his sandwich arrives, the nerves return. He stalls- cutting the sandwich in half, adding ketchup, picking through his fries.

“Sam,” Cas says gently. “If you don’t want to eat it, you don’t have to.”

“No, I want to, I’m just… nervous,” Sam admits.

Dean digs out his wallet and sets the pair of Benadryl pills next to Sam’s plate. “Here’s this.”

Sam nods and picks up his sandwich. Before he can change his mind, he takes a bite. The sandwich- grilled chicken with bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, and guacamole explodes flavors across his tongue. He bites back a pleased sound, knowing it will be absolutely sinful if it makes it past his vocal cords. He quickly wipes away escaping juices, chewing slowly.

“Good?” Den asks with a soft laugh.

Sam makes an affirmative noise and Cas smiles. Sam washes the bite down with water and waits. When after a few minutes he doesn’t feel any adverse effects, he eats some more. Before he knows it, he’s halfway through the sandwich and feeling completely fine.

“We should come here more often,” he says softly, pushing the pills back towards Dean.

One thing Sam really appreciates is how hard Dean works to not make foods he knows will make Sam jealous. If there’s one thing Sam’s good at, it’s not complaining, but it’s still hard to watch Dean eat things like grilled cheese without feeling some envy. He would never express it because then Dean would feel bad and stop eating the foods he likes, and the last thing Sam wants it to impose his dietary restrictions on his lovers. Cas has already gone completely dairy free while at home and Dean is working on following suit. When Sam insists that they don’t have to, Cas points out that they will save some money this way and make their kitchen safe for Sam. It makes sense, but it still dredges up guilty feelings when he catches Dean sneaking unsafe foods somewhere Sam can’t see.

“Dean,” he says with a sigh when he finds his brother hiding a bag of Doritos under his bed. “You don’t need to do that. It’s okay if you eat things I can’t have in front of me.”

“I don’t want to tease you with them,” Dean tells him.

“And I appreciate that, I really do. It’s very thoughtful. But you should never feel bad about eating something you enjoy.”

Dean looks down at the bag in his hands, and then tears it open. Sam chuckles when Dean shoves three chips in his mouth at once and knows things are getting better.

* * *

 

“I hate this app,” Dean grumbles as Google Maps spouts off yet another direction to turn too late for him to change lanes.

“You’re the one who insisted on using it,” Sam’s says, picking up Dean’s phone from where it’s tucked slightly under the older Winchester’s thigh. “Look, it’s right there. You can turn in where that white car is. See?”

“Yeah, I see.” Dean is practically pouting as he turns into the parking lot of the store- a whole foods, organic, etc. type place that was recommended by Dr. Morris during a follow-up phone call last week. She even gave them a list of brands to look for.

Cas is tapping nervous fingers on the back of Sam’s seat. Sam reaches on hand over his shoulder to catch the ex-angel’s hand in a tight squeeze. He knows Cas is worried they won’t be able to find things for Sam here and holds on until Dean has parked the impala.

The store is bigger than Sam expected, though, he’s not quite sure what he was expecting. It’s got all the things a grocery store has, with the addition of a section for natural remedies. Cas immediately gravitates toward that and Sam nudges him on with a reassuring smile.

“Where do we even start?” Dean asks once Cas has disappeared down an aisle.

“Um…” Sam studies his list. “Well, the cheese substitute will probably be in the dairy section. Right?”

“Even though it’s dairy free?”

“I don’t know where else they would be.” Sam grabs a cart. “Let’s start back there, and then we can work our way up and down the aisles.

“Sounds like a plan.” Dean rubs his thigh with his palm, glancing around them. “Sam… can I hold you had?”

Sam glances around as well and sees what Dean must have seen- two men standing in the checkout line. One has an arm over the other shoulders, fingers tangled together over the second man’s heart. The first man turns a little and meets Sam’s gaze. Sam can see his tension as he wonders if the Winchester is going to say anything. When Sam makes a point to grab Dean’s hand, the man smiles and presses a kiss to the side of his partner’s head.

“You can always hold my hand, Dean,” Sam tells his brother, tightening his grip. “But thank you for asking.”

They don’t hold hands often in public, but Sam decides they need to do it more often as they make their way to the back of the store. He likes showing the world how lucky he is that this beautiful man loves him. It’s kind of primitive, he knows, but it feels good to stake his claim on Dean for once.

“What’s the brand we’re looking for?” Dean inquires, eyeing the surprisingly large “dairy” section.

“Daiya,” Sam says. “Dr. Morris said there are other brands, but this is one of of, if not the best.”

“Found it.” Dean grabs a white and green bag from a top shelf. “If it doesn’t have dairy, does it really count as cheese?”

“Cheese can be made of a lot of different things, so I’m going to say yes.”

“Well, this is mozzarella. Looks like there’s cheddar and pepper jack, too. They’re kind of pricy.”

Sam is already putting bags of all three flavors in the cart. “Dr. Morris recommended freezing the bags. They last longer that way.”

“Makes sense. Look, this brand has a cream cheese, too.” Dean holds up a small grey plastic tub. “Wanna try it?”

Sam shrugs. “Sure. Couldn’t hurt.”

Dean puts it in the cart and continues examining the products. He puts a few containers of coconut and soy yogurt next to the cheese. Sam grabs some almond cheese as well.

Castiel appears suddenly, clutching his own basket of essential oils and such, piled around a jar of honey. He sets the basket in the cart, keeping it in separate from all of Sam’s things.

“That brand has some other foods,” he tells them. “I saw pizzas and I think cheesecake.”

“Really? That’s great. Where did you see them?” Dean leans on the handlebar of the cart.

“In the frozen section. I’ll show you.”

The cheesecake is closer. Sam’s never been huge on cheesecake, but he grabs the New York Style one. Next to it in the freezer are some donuts that proclaim themselves to be gluten, soy, and dairy free, so Sam selects a box of powdered ones.

The pizzas are all vegan, which makes sense given the brand, but Sam doesn’t mind that. He can put some other toppings on them if he wants. He gets a box of each flavor. Their cart is getting pretty full at this point, so they make their way to the front. Cas grabs some fruits and veggies on the way, pointing out the much cheaper prices.

“Did you find everything okay?” the young cashier asks. She begins quickly scanning and bagging the items Sam puts on the belt.

“Yes, thank you,” Cas says cheerfully. “You have an excellent selection here.”

The cashier smiles. “Thank you! How do you guys like the Daiya products?”

“This is our first time getting them,” Sam tells her. “I hope I like them.”

“Recently vegan?” she inquires.

“No, just a late-developed dairy allergy.”

“Ah, those are never fun. I have a friend with a dairy allergy and this is her favorite brand. I hope you really like them as well. A good cheese substitute really opens up a lot of new options.”

“Really? That’s awesome.” Dean can already see the wheels turning in Sam’s head. “I’m looking forward to experimenting, then.”

Once the groceries are put away, Dean barricades himself in the kitchen. Sam really wants to see what his brother is up to, but he knows Dean wants it to be a surprise.

“I’m excited about all the new foods we found for you to try,” Cas says, sitting across from Sam in the library and hooking his foot around the man’s ankle.

“I am, too. I think it will really help me feel more normal.”

Cas smiles fondly. “And maybe encourage you to eat more?”

Sam reddens. He has been eating better, but he’s still not back to where he was before his allergy and he knows his lovers are worried about him. “Hopefully, yeah.”

The ex-angel pops open his laptop, foot still rubbing against Sam’s ankle under the table. The small bit of contact leaves a warm feeling in Sam’s chest as he returns his attention to looking for a case. He has several articles bookmarked by the time Dean emerges from the kitchen with the breakfast-in-bed tray Cas found at a thrift store awhile back, covered to hide whatever is on it.

“Make room!” the oldest Winchester says cheerfully, waiting until both Sam and Cas have moved their laptops to the far end of the table before setting down the tray. “Ready, Sammy?” he asks.

Sam laughs softly. “Ready, De.”

Dean uncovers the tray with a dramatic flourish, revealing a large pot of chicken and noodles covered in a creamy white sauce, a bowl of garlic toast on the side.

“Alfredo?” Sam almost gasps, eyes going wide. The food both looks and smells amazing.

“I found a recipe online and played around with it until it fit our needs. I also used some of that cheese.” Dean looks very proud of himself.

“It looks amazing,” Cas says, leaning forward eagerly.

Dean sets out bowls and utensils for the three of them. “Let’s hope it tastes good, too.”

He dishes up the alfredo and the garlic bread. Sam waits until Dean sits to dig into his food. The moment it hits his tongue, he can’t hold back his pleasure.

“Dean, that’s incredible!” he says after he swallows, leaning over to plant a solid kiss on Dean’s lips. “Thank you for making this.”

Dean is bright red, ducking his head shyly. “I’m glad you like it. I guess I’ll be adding this one to the list of regular recipes.”

Cas is nodding, mouth too full to talk. Sam is already eating more. The pasta is perfectly cooked, the sauce creamy and smooth, just the right amount of cheese and garlic. The chicken is juicy, with a nice sear for some extra texture. For an experimental recipe alone it’s good, but Sam is inclined to say it’s better than any alfredo he’s eaten at a restaurant, and not just because he’s biased to his brother’s cooking.

Sam goes back for seconds and there’s still a lot of leftovers, which is exciting because he’s definitely going to want more. He insists on helping with cleaning up the kitchen, since Dean did all the cooking.

“I’m really glad you guys liked it,” Dean smiles when the last pot is put away.

“Let us show you how much we liked it,” Sam purrs, pulling Dean close and planting a line of soft kisses to his brother’s neck.

Cas comes in behind Dean, sandwiching his body between the two of them. Dean moans softly, tipping his head back onto Cas’ shoulder.

“Is this okay?” Sam asks, verifying before they go any further.

“Very okay,” Dean assures him. “But we should probably move this to the bedroom. I’ve spent enough time in the kitchen today.”

“The bedroom it is.”

While each man still has his own room in case he needs some alone time, they upgraded the bed in one of the largest bedrooms to a king in order to accommodate all three of them. It’s this bedroom they go to, laying Dean in the center of the giant mattress. Sam and Cas work together to strip Dean of his clothes before undressing themselves. Dean watches them with eager eyes, his interest already evident in the hard curve of his cock against his thigh.

“How do you want us,” Cas inquires, crawling onto the bed to lay beside Dean.

“I want you in my ass,” Dean tells him. “And Sam under me.”

“We can do that.”

Cas rolls Dean over and pulls him up onto his hands and knees. The short-haired man wiggles his ass playfully, grinning at the soft sound Sam makes. Sam takes the opportunity to smack Dean’s ass before going to the nightstand to get the lube.

“Wanna watch you prep yourself,” Dean says when Sam squirts some lube onto Cas’ waiting fingers.

Sam grins and climbs onto the bed in front of Dean. He settles himself against the headboard, legs spread wide to give Dean the best view, before spreading lube on his fingers. It’s been awhile since he’s bottomed and his body is slow to loosen up, but he has three fingers in by the time Cas is finished prepping Dean.

“Ready?” Cas asks, sliding his free hand up Dean’s spine.

Both Winchesters nod. Dean sits up more so Sam can slide underneath him. Sam tugs Dean down into his arms, helping him line up with the younger man’s hole. His head falls back when Dean pushes inside. He feels the mattress shifting as Cas gets into position, and then hears Dean’s groan as their lover enters him.

“Feel so good, Dean,” Cas murmurs, leaning forward to kiss the back of Dean’s shoulder. “Wanna move?”

Dean nods almost frantically, shifting his hips slightly between the two men. They let Dean set his own pace, back onto Cas and forward into Sam. The sounds he makes are enough to drive Sam crazy. He grabs Cas’ hand over Dean’s shoulder as he kisses his brother’s collarbone. Cas begins to move as well, matching Dean’s rhythm. Sam can’t do much except hang on for the ride, but he doesn’t mind. The combined sensations of Dean’s cock in his hole and his own cock trapped beneath their bellies has him tipping over the edge in an embarrassingly short amount of time.

“Fuck,” he groans, fingers digging into Dean’s shoulders as his body trembles uncontrollably.

Dean grunts out his own orgasm, dragged out of him by Sam’s clenching hole. Cas doesn’t last much longer.

“That was amazing. Thank you,” Dean huffs with a soft laugh when Cas rolls off him. He rolls in the other direction, so Sam is in the middle.

“A pretty messy one,” Sam replies, squirming a little at the feeling of Dean’s cum dripping from his hole. “I vote we shower next.”

“I second that,” Dean agrees.

Cas sighs, but allows himself to be pulled from the bed by the brothers.

* * *

 

He had hoped that he would feel more comfortable with his allergy over time, but honestly Sam still hates that this is his life now. It certainly helps that he knows what he can and can’t eat, and his boyfriends are as supportive as ever, but Sam still feels… off.

Eating out is hard. He knows most restaurant employees are taught how to deal with allergies and he’s not doing anything wrong by asking for his food modified as long as he’s a decent, reasonable person about it, but he feels like he’s being a bother. Sometimes when Dean makes him food, he feels like he’s just a burden on his brother. His allergy has disrupted their whole lifestyle and while they’re working through it well, he hates that it happened in the first place.

“Dean, you don’t have to keep making me stuff,” Sam says, leaning his elbows on the kitchen table and watching his brother stirring something in a big pot.

“What are you talking about?” Dean asks, looking up from the stove.

“I’m a grown man. I should be able to handle my own allergy, not rely on my brother to take care of me.”

He can see Dean’s eye roll through the back of his head. “You know I don’t mind cooking for you, Sammy.”

“I know, Dean, I just-”

“Sam, come over here.” when Sam doesn’t move, Dean sighs and turns to look at him. “Come here.”

Sam slowly stands and makes his way over to the stove.

“Here, stir the sauce,” Dean tells him, handing over the spoon. “Keep it moving so it doesn’t burn.”

Sam obeys, feeling a weight lift off his chest as Dean moves to chop spinach.

“I usually just do everything myself,” Dean says, “because you've never been the best cook and I don't trust Cas in the kitchen. But if you want to learn, I'm happy to teach you. We're making Swiss chicken tonight. Think you can keep the sauce from burning while I prep the chicken?”

“Yeah, Dean,” Sam replies with a smile. “I can do that.”

Dean kisses him gently. “Good. I'll get the chicken in the pan, then we'll pour the sauce over it and stick it in the oven. Then you can help me make mashed potatoes.” he turns to yell out into the bunker. “Cas!”

A moment later, the ex-angel appears in the doorway. “Yes, Dean?”

“Come help make dinner. There's a pile of potatoes with your name on it.”

Sam stirs the sauce while Dean shows Cas how to best clean the potatoes. This is better. This is how he wants things to be. It's sappy and domestic; he can see the potential this has to be romantic, even. He doesn’t feel like a burden, but a part of a team- this relationship between his brother and Cas and he loves every bit of it.


End file.
